Through the Bible: Matthew 23, Luke 20-21
34 And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, 35 but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, 36 for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. (Luke 20:34-36)
Jesus’ response to the Sadducees about marriage in the resurrection can be troubling for anyone who loves their spouse. My wife has been my life partner for nearly thirty years, and I honestly cannot picture my life without her. So when Jesus says there will be no marriage in the resurrection, it can feel devastating. Why would the greatest blessing of my earthly life not be part of my eternal life?
It’s important to notice what Jesus is and is not saying.
He is not saying that love shared on earth will mean nothing in eternity. He is not saying that our deepest earthly bonds will be erased. What He is saying is that resurrected life is qualitatively different from life now — and that all relationships, including marriage, will be transformed, not trivialized.
Truthfully, this teaching is only tangentially about marriage at all. As verse 27 reminds us, the Sadducees denied the resurrection (see Day 308: Sorting Out the Sects). So they came with a question they thought would be an ingenious expose of how absurd it was to believe in the resurrection in the first place. They presented an extreme situation to Jesus—a woman who marries seven brothers who all die. Their question: “Who ‘gets’ her in Heaven? I suppose they were hoping Jesus would say, “Wow. You’ve stumped me there. I guess you’re right. Believing in the resurrection really is dumb.”
But Jesus doesn’t go there. Instead, He says, “You guys don’t get it. The way things work up there is totally different from the way things work down here. And by the way, there really is an “up there.” God is not the God of the dead, but the living.”
Keep in mind that in Jesus’ day, women weren’t seen as equal partners in marriage. They were seen as little more than property—disrespected, dishonored, and able to be discarded at the whim of the husband. The Sadducees question: “Who will she belong to, because all seven had her?” reveals that mindset.
Jesus’ answer is, “She doesn’t belong to any man. She belongs to God.”
In the resurrection, God does not hand His daughters off to other owners. They are His — beloved, honored, and fully alive in Him.
So what does that mean for those who long to love their spouse forever?
It means this: whatever joy and intimacy we know now — even on the best day of the strongest marriage — is only the faintest shadow of the love, purity, and union we will experience in the kingdom of God. Our earthly marriages point toward something greater, not away from it. We will not love less in heaven; we will love more perfectly — with no sin, no insecurity, no fear, no distance, and no loss.
I don’t know exactly what our relationships will look like in glory. Scripture does not give details on how spouses will relate. But we do know this: We will know one another, and we will love one another, in ways more whole than we can imagine — not as husband and wife, but as glorified children of God sharing eternal life in Him.
It’s not going to be the way it is on earth. Maybe instead of trying to work out if it will be in heaven as it is on earth, you could work a little harder on making marriage be “on earth as it is in heaven.” Where men and women are joint heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). Where there is no Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female (Galatians 3:28). Where the ground in front of the throne is as level as it is before the cross.
When I was in third and fourth grade, I was smitten with a girl named Jennifer. I asked her to be my girlfriend thirteen times. Usually with a note that I passed to her: “Will you be my girlfriend? Check yes or no.” She checked no. Every. Single. Time.
Its been fifty years since third grade. My understanding of what it meant to have a girlfriend, to say nothing of what it means to have a wife, wasn’t just limited. It was laughable. If you had tried to explain what true covenant love is, I couldn’t have processed it. Not even close.
And I believe that one day in glory, we will look back on all the relationship podcasts we listened to. the marriage encounter weekends we attended, and the counseling sessions we booked, and we will realize they had about as much in common with true kingdom intimacy as my notes to Jennifer had with an actual relationship.
And I think that in eternity, even the most faithful, loving, Christ-centered married couples — the ones who fought for each other, served each other, forgave much, and loved well — will look at one another and say,
“My God. I had no idea it would be like this.”
Not less intimacy.
Not less connection.
Not less joy.
More. Infinitely more.
What a glorious day that will be!
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