Part 4 of Refresh: A Fresh Start for a New Season
August 30, 2026
Glynwood Baptist Church, Prattville, AL
James Jackson, Pastor
Good morning! Please open your Bibles to Colossians 3.
We are continuing our series Refresh, which has been about sanctification. The lifelong process by which God makes us more like Jesus.
That’s the definition we’ve been using for this entire series. We’ve looked at the renewed mind we get when God transforms us. We’ve looked at the clean heart God gives to us. Last week we talked about the healthier habits God is developing within us.
All that is sanctification. God is making us more like Jesus.
But do you know what the word is for the lifelong process by which we make other people more like Jesus?
That’s right. There isn’t one.
But don’t you wish there was?
I think if I told you that for the next six weeks we were going to do a series on how you can make the people around you more like Jesus, we would pack this place out!
Because we all know what a better world this would be if everyone else would just get their act together!
Have you ever noticed that when a relationship isn’t going well, it’s usually pretty easy to figure out what the problem is?
It’s them.
If my spouse would listen more. If my kids would show a little more respect. If my parents weren’t so controlling. If my boss weren’t so difficult. If my coworker weren’t so annoying. If that person at church weren’t so needy. If they would change, this relationship would be so much better.
And sometimes we’re right. Sometimes the other person really does need to change.
But here’s the truth, and it’s frustrating and liberating at the same time: the only person in that relationship whose relationship to Jesus I can control… is me.
I can’t make you more patient. I can’t make you more forgiving. I can’t make you less angry. I can’t make you stop saying hurtful things. I can’t make you love like Jesus.
But I can follow Jesus.
And what Paul is going to show us in Colossians 3 is that the closer we follow Jesus, the more the way we relate to other people begins to change.
So here’s our Big Idea for today:
Relationships get better when we get better at following Jesus.
Relationships involve other people, and you can’t control what they do. But you can control how you respond to them. You can become more compassionate. More patient. More forgiving. Less angry. Less selfish. More loving. And as God changes you, He changes what you bring into every relationship you’re part of.
I may not be able to make this relationship better, but by God’s grace, I can become better in this relationship.
Let’s read what Paul has to say about this in Colossians 3: 5-17
[Read]
Did you notice how often Paul uses the language of putting something somewhere?
• Put something to death.
• Put something away.
• Put something on.
• Put up with people
• Put love above everything else.
Put, put, put, put, put. Sounds like a boat engine, doesn’t it. And that’s appropriate. Think of these as the engine of our relational boat. No, wait: Our relation…“ship.”
I worked really hard on that.
Yeah… we need to pray.
[pray]
1. Put to death (v 5-7)
The first “put” is the strongest one. Paul says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you.” And then he gives us a list: “sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
Now, we tend to put those sins in the category of personal morality. We think of them as things that happen inside me—my desires, my thoughts, my temptations. But every one of them has implications for our relationships, because they teach us to look at another person in terms of what that person can do for me.
Sexual immorality takes something God designed to express covenant love and turns another person into an object for my gratification. Evil desire says, “I want you—or something you have—because of what it will do for me.” And covetousness says, “What I have isn’t enough. I need what belongs to somebody else.” That’s why Paul calls covetousness idolatry. My desires become more important to me than God, and other people become means of satisfying those desires.
Years ago, when LifeWay’s headquarters was in downtown Nashville, there was a huge adult bookstore just down Broadway. A Christian organization bought the billboard directly above it. The billboard showed a black and white portrait of a beautiful young woman. The photographer captured her beauty, but also her vulnerability. And there were just three words:
SHE’S SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER.
I’ve never forgotten that.
Because pornography says, “She’s here for you.” The billboard said, “No. She’s a person.” Someone God created in His image. Someone with a name and a story. Somebody’s daughter.
And that’s bigger than pornography. Whenever I reduce another human being to what they can give me, do for me, or satisfy in me, I’m not loving them. I’m using them.
Paul doesn’t say manage that. Moderate it. Keep it under control.
He says put it to death.
Now, somewhere along the way, I had a teacher who used to write three letters in the margins of my papers: YBH.
It stood for Yes, but how?
It meant, “James, I agree with what you’re saying. But you haven’t told me what to do with it.”
And I think we could write YBH in the margin next to verse 5. “Put to death sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness.”
Yes, Paul. But how?
Well, you don’t put sin to death by pretending you’re never tempted. You put it to death by starving what feeds it and feeding what replaces it.
If there are places you go, things you watch, accounts you follow, conversations you participate in, or situations you deliberately put yourself in that feed those desires, stop feeding them. Jesus used even more radical language: if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out; if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. He wasn’t advocating self-mutilation. He was saying, get ruthless about whatever keeps feeding your sin.
And then learn to see people differently. That woman on the screen isn’t a collection of body parts. She’s somebody’s daughter. That attractive coworker isn’t an opportunity. That’s somebody God created in His image. The person who has something you want isn’t standing between you and happiness.
Put sin to death by refusing to feed the desire that uses people, and start cultivating the love that sees people.
2. Put Away — vv. 8–9
Paul moves from the desires that use people to the attitudes and words that hurt people. Verse 8 says, “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Then verse 9 adds, “Do not lie to one another.”
Notice how relational this list is.
- Anger and wrath may begin inside us, but they rarely stay there.
- Malice actually wants something bad to happen to another person.
- Slander tears down another person’s reputation.
- Lying destroys the trust relationships depend on.
And “obscene talk” is broader than simply having a list of words Christians aren’t supposed to say. The word Paul uses refers to shameful or disgraceful speech. Certainly that can include vulgar or sexually explicit language, but in this context it also points toward speech that degrades another person.
So maybe the YBH question here is very simple:
Before I say it, what is this going to do to the person who hears it—or to the person I’m talking about?
You can use the acronym THINK as you “think” about what to say, or what to post:
T — Is it True?
H — Is it Helpful?
I — Is it Inspiring?
N — Is it Necessary?
K — Is it Kind?
Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it intended to help? Or am I saying it because I’m angry and I want them to hurt? Am I telling this story because someone needs to know, or because I know it will make the other person look bad?
And notice Paul’s imagery. He says put it away. The picture is of taking off an old set of clothes. These are behaviors that belonged to the old life, and Paul says, Those don’t fit you anymore.
You can’t build better relationships while continuing to wear anger, malice, slander, degrading speech, and dishonesty.
3. Put On — vv. 10–12
So far, Paul has told us what needs to come off. Put to death. Put away. But the Christian life isn’t just about getting rid of bad things. Something new takes their place.
Verse 10 says we have “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”
Does that sound familiar? We started this series with Romans 12:2: “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” This is sanctification. God is making us more like Jesus.
Then look at verse 12: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”
These are all relational words. In order to have a kind and compassionate heart, there needs to be someone to whom you show kindness and compassion. In order to demonstrate humility and meekness, there needs to be someone whose interests you put ahead of your own. You can’t choose patience unless there’s someone that tempts you to be impatient.
So every interaction with another person presents a choice. Compassion or indifference? Kindness or cruelty? Their interests or mine? Patience—or irritation?
I want you to notice something in verse 12. Before Paul tells us to choose compassion, to choose kindness, to choose humility, he reminds us that we are chosen:
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
Chosen. Holy. Beloved.
I have a good friend whose mother would always send her out the door to school with these words: “Remember who you are and Whose you are.”
That’s essentially what Paul is doing here.
Remember who you are: chosen, holy, beloved.
Remember Whose you are: you belong to Jesus.
And when I remember that, I don’t have to use other people to establish my worth. I don’t have to tear someone down to build myself up. I don’t have to demand from someone else what God has already given me in Christ.
Instead, I’m free to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Remember who you are and Whose you are. Then dress accordingly.
Put on the character of Christ.
Put to death: desires that use people.
Put away: words and attitudes that hurt people.
Put on: the character of Christ that loves people.
4. Put Up With — vv. 11, 13
Now we come to perhaps the most realistic command in the whole passage. Verse 13 says, “bearing with one another.”
I love that the Bible says that. Paul knows that sometimes loving people means putting up with people.
This was especially important in the church of Colossae. You get a real sense of the demographic of the church from verse 12: “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free…
Paul says that “here there is not…” but the assumption is that “here there was:”
“Barbarian” was what Greeks called people outside their language and culture. And the Scythians were regarded as about as uncivilized and culturally foreign as you could get. Paul is deliberately stretching the boundaries: Greek and Jew, civilized and uncivilized, slave and free.
What made this melting pot work is that here also was Christ: Christ is all, and in all.
The miracle of biblical community isn’t homogeneity. It’s diversity held together by a common identity in Christ.
It’s easy to be a friendly church when everybody we’re friendly with is already like us. Jesus said, “If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?”
And especially here in the Bible Belt, church shopping can become an exercise in finding people who look like us, think like us, vote like us, talk like us, and live like us.
But spiritually speaking, I have more in common with a Venezuelan refugee who follows Jesus than I do with a white, English-speaking, American Auburn fan who doesn’t.
Christ is the deeper identity.
And when Christ brings different people together, sometimes we’re going to rub each other the wrong way. So Paul says, bear with one another. And when bearing with isn’t enough, forgive one another: “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
And when bearing with one another isn’t enough, Paul says, “forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Notice the standard: Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.
This isn’t quid pro quo. It isn’t you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. It isn’t, I’ll forgive you when you apologize enough, when you make it up to me, or when I think you’ve suffered long enough.
The pattern for my forgiveness of you is Christ’s forgiveness of me.
And that changes the equation, because when I remember how much grace I have received, it becomes harder to keep a running account of how much grace you deserve.
That’s the miracle of biblical community. It’s not that Jesus surrounds me with people who never irritate me, disappoint me, disagree with me, or hurt me.
It’s that Jesus gives forgiven people the grace to forgive people.
5. Put Love Above All — vv. 14–17
Finally, Paul says in verse 14, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
Above all.
Above compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearance, even forgiveness—put on love. Because love is what binds all of it together.
And that language is especially beautiful in Colossians. Back in chapter 1, Paul said of Jesus, “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
The Christ who holds all things together gives us the love that binds us together.
And notice where Paul goes next: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.”
One body.
Different backgrounds. Different personalities. Different preferences. Different stories. People who sometimes disappoint each other, irritate each other, and hurt each other.
And yet, one body.
Not because we are all alike. Not because we always agree. Not because we’re especially good at relationships.
Because Christ loved us. Christ forgave us. Christ reconciled us to God and to one another.
And that’s what brings us to this Table.
Communion reminds us that before Jesus ever commanded us to love one another, He loved us. Before He told us to forgive, He forgave us. Before He called us one body, He gave His body for us.
So as we come to the Table this morning, remember who you are and Whose you are.
Chosen. Holy. Beloved. Forgiven.
And because we have been loved like this—
“Above all these put on love.”
[invitation]
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